"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old is gone, the new is here!"
2 Corinthians 5:17
I am not sure if anyone else does this, but do you ever wonder what it would be like to attend your own funeral?
Just imagine! We could see who's there, see who isn't, hear what is being said about us, etc. A few weeks after returning home from the hospital, I spoke to a friend of mine who had come to visit me while I was there. He shared with me that when he saw all the people in the hospital room, he felt like he was watching my funeral.
By God's grace and healing power, what he was witnessing wasn't my funeral. My earthly body miraculously survived. But my friend's observation forced me to view it the same way he saw it. This was a scary thing to imagine, but also a very real possibility based on the severity of my injuries. Seeing it through this lens led me to ask myself a question, a question that resulted in a lot of soul searching. The answer to which literally changed my life.
"When my friends and family came to see me in the hospital, did they really know the heart and the motives of who they had come to visit?"
When I started answering this question, I uncovered attitudes and actions that were inconsistent with what I was claiming to believe. I was prideful and felt I had everything figured out and under control. I was living comfortably and tried to stay away from anything that had the potential to change my comfort level. I had "faith in" and "trusted" God, but was still trying to do most things on my own power. I hadn’t totally surrendered my life to God, but instead, was picking and choosing the parts I gave to Him. My life was more about me and mine, not God and others. So if I am being honest, the answer I came up with to this question was that many of those visiting me in the hospital didn't know the genuine me, or the heart and motivation of the man they had come to see. This grieved me! But it also convicted me and led to some much-needed repentance!
God has used my brain injury to teach me things that I may have never learned otherwise. My eyes were opened and my heart was awakened to the true gospel and the authentic Jesus. I started realizing that my life wasn't anywhere close to what God had envisioned for me, and the only way to get closer to that was by coming to the end of myself and giving it ALL to Him
I truly believe that I'm in rare company. That's because I was actually able to get a first-hand account of the sights and sounds of my "funeral" (or at least my "first" funeral). And maybe in a way, it really was one.
It was like the old me was laid to rest and a new me was raised to life.